Anger

Why are so many people angry? What is anger? Where
does it come from? How do you overcome it? And more
importantly, why am I angry???

I have spent countless hours, days, and years in an
attempt to overcome its existence in my life. I’ve had
the pity party where I “try” to cry over situations
that were painful in hopes that my tears will be the
catalyst to such an effect. I am left with nothing
short of a dry spell with even more pent up anger for
being unable to attain what seems to be such a
“normal” reaction for most people. I’ve joined
numerous physical activities such as kick boxing,
yoga, pilates, aerobics, spin class and even Taebo,
all in hopes that while I’m kicking punch bags, the
bags will somehow replace the faces of my ex’s. Or
while I’m meditating to some unknown god, that these
internalized emotions that have plagued me for so long
will be healed through the sound of ‘ooooooooommm’. I
don’t know what I was thinking!

What I have realized about anger is as simple as this.
It’s a word to describe a feeling. It’s not a disease,
it’s not a plague and it’s not a part of who I am.
It’s a label. Everything in our lives and in this
world is based on some made up bullshit like ‘OCD’ or
‘BI POLAR’ or ‘LOUIS VUTTON’. It’s all a label! A
label inserted between your life and mine. Some of us,
myself included, rely on these labels as a
means of identity, validation and even self worth. It
helps clear up the grey areas of life where there is
no answer, no cause and no effect. These labels define
and suggest reason to every single feeling you’ve
ever felt in your entire life! Finally, you are not alone.
You are now a statistic stuck in a category with thousands
of others who suffer from the same "problems" as you do. Safe and
sound in the arms of Prozac, Ritolin, Valium, Wellbutrin, Aderol....etc.
Like the bottles say "FOR TEMPORARY RELIEF ONLY". Don't be NUMB to it.
It won't be too long before you catch up with yourself again. So take
the time to cry, to hurt, to scream, to be angry. To feel anything is a
miracle in itslef.

What I am really trying to say is that I am ME. No
‘label’ will ever plague me again or force me to feel
controlled by its definition. It’s a word to describe
a feeling. I am a word, a definition, a judgment, an
emotion. I am a label, an answer and a solution. In this moment, I am
angry.