Idealism

So today I had a rather insightful conversation with one of my greatest friends in the whole wide world=) You know who you are. Anyway, you know how they say that friends are reflections of who you are? Well this came to full light today as I was discussing with my dear friend anxieties that I have been feeling lately in regards to fears, love, relationships, etc. You know, the usual Adriane dramatics. During this conversation, my friend (like most of them) became exasperated at my constant babbling over repetitive situations that I find myself in. In complete annoyance of probally my voice and constant whining, she blurts out "Dre. You're such an idealist! God! You have to learn to compromise and to let people be who they are. You jump to conclusions about people and their situations so quickly. You blueprint your opinions and once that's done, you can't turn back. Instead of making judgements so quickly about people, wait on it a few days and you'll see that there's much more to it than you think".

Needless to say, I was a little thrown back by her assesment of me. In my head it was like this.."Ummm...Who the fuk do you think you are talkin to me like this...pssshhhh...Whateva!" Surprisingly, that statement stayed safe and sound in my head. Instead, I thought about what she had just said, and then I thought a little more and then it dawned on me! I am an idealist! I know...it's just a label, but for label's sake I am a freakin IDEALIST! I don't know why this is news to me, but it is.

I realized that I am searching for the unattainable. A perfect place, in a perfect time with the perfect one. Because of my idealistic tendencies, I usually end up in situations where I try to change the other person as a means of creating my ideal. God forbid my partners imperfect and even worse, I'm imperfect! I have this incessant need to make things better, make people happier, make the world greater, etc. In all honesty, these are my intentions. However, I have realized that in my search for perfection, I've forgotten how beautiful imperfection can be. Like when you have no make-up on and you're in sweats in Rite Aid and you get hit on by some hot guy who says your gorgeous. Or when you hurt someone else's feelings by being inconsiderate, but they forgive you anyway because they love you. Or when you're on a date and you trip and fall over air, but the guy looks at you and smiles (he better fkin help you up though). All of this is what I've forgotten about. The beauty in the simplest, imperfect things.

The people in my life have given me so many chances to get it right. God has given me so many days to get it right. Each passing moment has blessed me with the wisdom to get it right. Ironically, I will never get it right. But the people in my life, God and each passing moment will love me anyway.

-A navajo blanket traditionally contains an imperfection-